


Descent

by McKayRulez



Series: Dark & Disturbed Stargate [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Adrenaline, Denial, Episode: s01e11 The Eye, Episode: s02e14 Grace Under Pressure, Episode: s04e16 Trio, Episode: s05e06 The Shrine, Episode: s05e14 The Prodigal, Gen, Near Death Experiences, No Dialogue, Obsessive Behavior, Psychological Trauma, Self-Discovery, Self-Harm, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 11:33:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15556782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKayRulez/pseuds/McKayRulez
Summary: After facing a near death experience, Rodney starts developing an unusual obsession.





	Descent

Ice cold rain pelted his face and soaked his clothes to the bone. He had already felt light headed from the blood leaking from the long deep cut on his forearm, and this chilling atmosphere was only making it worse. 

Rodney blinked the water from his eyes. His vision was hazy and his numb fingers where being uncooperative, as he tried to fix the wiring on the grounding station control panel. 

Elizabeth was hovering over his shoulder, constantly telling him to buy Sheppard more time. Keep stalling the already furious and impatient Koyla. He prowled their rain soaked dwelling, ready to strike and lash out at anything, due to his students dying in the Stargate's shield.

Well Rodney had done as Elizabeth had asked, and now Koyla's strong fists where clutching Rodney's jacket, holding him against the railing. It's hard steel jamming into his back, as Koyla held him there. 

Then in an instant, Rodney saw revenge in Koyla's eyes. Terror overtook Rodney as he was let go and suddenly found himself falling over the edge. 

As he plummeted into the ocean, wind whipping through his hair and clothes, Rodney felt the world and his mind go silent. His heart was racing and adrenalin pumped through him as he closed his eyes. 

He hit the water and the tension felt like landing on glass. His body shuddered at the impact and he instantly found himself engulfed in a freezing ocean. 

Rodney couldn't move. His bones felt shattered and his mind felt numb. He could barely even register the stinging of the salt water on his gaping wound. 

He was looking up at the water's surface, angry dark clouds appeared distorted beyond and flashes of lightning sent shimmers of reflections up above. 

His vision darkened around the edges as blood loss and suffocation began to take him, but just as his vision had nearly failed him, he saw the blurry sight of a jumper above him. 

Carson's puddle jumper had picked up his life sign as they had approached the city. It hovered just above the surface. 

The last thing Rodney saw before passing out was Aiden, Carson, Teyla and the Athosian hunter's hands reaching out to pick him up. 

\--

A week later, Rodney looked out over the balcony. He was wrapped tight in warm blankets, which where Carson's orders, as Rodney was sick with the flu after his stint of hypothermia from being in the rain and ocean so long. 

He had been 'lucky' apparently. 

He should have his bones broken.. He should have died... 

But he lived?..

 

Rodney watched the waves currents flow below him lazily. For some reason he couldn't stop himself from looking out over the railing since the incident. 

His heart would flutter and he'd get a strange feeling in his chest. 

Heightmeyer thought maybe he was trying to process his trauma, or that he might have developed a new phobia for heights, but it wasn't like that. Rodney actually felt something else.. 

He just couldn't place what it was yet.. Or maybe he wasn't ready to admit it to himself. 

\--

Shortly after Rodney had recovered from the flu, he was once again submerged in the ocean. This time because his faulty puddle jumper took a nose dive into the ocean. 

Rodney watched their descent through the window. He had that same feeling in his chest again, as adrenalin rushed through him. 

The crash landing had been rough, enough to knock him out and give McKay a concussion, but it was still an interesting experience. 

After the rescue from that little 'almost drowning again' endeavor, Rodney realized that he liked standing on the balcony, a lot. He'd bring his binoculars with him and watch the Flagisallus swim in the distance, but really that was just an excuse for whenever Sheppard or someone else would catch him admiring the water below. 

\-- 

A few years later when he, Sam, and Dr. Keller where stuck in a Genii underground mine. McKay couldn't help but be reminded of Koyla as he translated the Genii's written language. That got him thinking about the fall again. 

Then when Carter asked who would climb the set of boxes to reach the surface, McKay agreed. Keller was afraid of heights, and McKay had already conquered that fear. 

The boxes wobbled unevenly under his feet. He heard the crack and snap of aged wood under the strain of his weight. He quickly found himself tumbling down with the mess of the crates and landing on his back. 

Carter and Keller hovered over him worriedly, asking if he was alright. Only to look confused and concerned, as McKay fell into a fit of excited laughter. 

When the trio returned to Atlantis, McKay was treated for a broken leg. He'd sometimes be caught tripping over the stairs, and in embarrassment would blame his crutches, even though it actually was on purpose. 

\--

Once again McKay was submerged underwater as they had walked through the Stargate, and then reluctantly had to cling to the top of it in freezing wet clothes. At least this time he wasn't alone, but it didn't make him feel any better as cold hot chills of fever took him, and he soon passed out. 

Some time later, Rodney and John where looking over the pier, close to the ocean's surface. They drank together until McKay felt warm, cheeks flushed against the cold gentle wind. 

His mind was buzzing. For the past month, all that had been racing through his mind was worry that he'd soon be gone. His fast paced progression of dementia was eating him alive and he couldn't do anything to stop it. 

He gazed out over the water. Longing for his mind's worry to cease. To slow and fade away, like his mind during a fall. 

Soon Sheppard tried to get him to leave with him for bed but Rodney refused, choosing to be alone a little longer. 

As he looked out into the darkness, his tired and tipsy mind thought about climbing a balcony and taking a plunge, but when he got up he found himself stumbling about drunk. 

The stairs would have to do for today, he thought. Even in his drunkenness, McKay was in the right mind to know he might drown in this condition. 

Maybe tomorrow.

If he could remember to... 

Later Ronon took him too the Shrine, and Dr. Keller helped get the organism out of his mind. 

He was finally free from his nightmare and mental impairment and it left him happy for once, since the whole ordeal had started. 

He felt like celebrating. 

He looked out over the cavern's ledge. The trickle of the waterfall flowing overhead sounded so gentle and graceful. 

Who could blame him if he 'accidently' slipped on some wet rocks and landed in the pond below. 

Murky water had never felt so good. 

His teammates worried faces peered over the ledge, as McKay just smirked to himself. 

\--

A meeting was called after Michael's infiltration of Atlantis. McKay watched Teyla intently as she recounted her ordeal. She held Torren protectively in her arms as she gave her report. What interested him the most, was how Michael 'died'. Teyla forcing his hands off a ledge, plummeting to his assumed death. 

The whole thing fascinated him and soon Rodney found himself on a balcony, his mind reeling with calculations of velocity, distance and acceleration. 

At first, he told himself he was just calculating Michael's likelihood of survival, but he knew that wasn't true. 

It was luck the first time he fell and lived, but just how high could he jump without dying? 

He mulled over the numbers in his head and had come to a conclusion. 

Rodney stepped over the railing and held it behind him. His eyes scanning the dark water below. A slant smile on his lips. 

He needed to test this.. 

In the name of science, of course. 

He was a scientist after all.


End file.
